Parenting a Toddler with Sensory Processing Disorder During the Holidays: The Honest Truth

Let’s just start by saying this: parenting a toddler with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) is not for the faint of heart. Add the chaos of the holidays—big gatherings, loud noises, bright lights, and endless expectations—and, well, it’s a recipe for overwhelm.

I’ve been there, heck, I am still there. The moment when your well-meaning aunt loudly asks why your toddler is “freaking out” because there are too many people talking at once. The meltdown in the middle of a festive dinner because their favorite food is served on the “wrong plate.” The awkward stares when you’re trying to help your kid calm down, and it’s just not working. Or the time we spent an exorbitant amount of money for tickets on a Santa train, only to have our kids completely freak out due to the loud music.

Holidays are supposed to be joyful, but for parents like us, they can feel like a minefield. And the truth is, it’s hard. It’s isolating. It can make you question everything:

• Am I doing enough?

• Why does it feel so impossible?

• Will it always be this hard?

  
  

Here’s what I’ve learned (the hard way): the holidays don’t have to be perfect, and neither does your parenting. What matters most is creating moments of connection and helping your child feel safe—even if that means ditching tradition or saying no to something that feels like too much.

Practical Tips for Navigating the Holidays with SPD

Over the years, I’ve figured out a few strategies that help us not just survive but sometimes even enjoy the holiday season.

1. Bring Headphones or Earplugs

The noise of a holiday gathering can be way too much for kids with SPD. Even “fun” sounds like laughter, music, and chatter can turn into sensory overload. Headphones have been a lifesaver for us, creating a bubble of calm in an otherwise overwhelming environment. Noise-canceling headphones are great for reducing the intensity of sounds, while earplugs can work for older toddlers or kids who might not like the bulk of headphones. Pro tip: let your child pick their headphones—having something they feel ownership over makes a big difference.

2. Build in Breaks

Crowded rooms, constant activity, and bright lights can lead to sensory fatigue quickly. Plan ahead by identifying quiet spaces where your child can decompress. A guest bedroom, a corner with a soft blanket, or even a quick car ride around the block can provide a much-needed reset. Be sure to communicate to family members ahead of time that you might need to step away, so they understand that it’s not about being rude—it’s about taking care of your child’s needs.

3. Pack Familiar Comforts.

The holidays are full of unfamiliar places, faces, and routines. Bringing along familiar items—like a favorite blanket, stuffed animal, or sensory toy—can provide a sense of security. These “anchors” remind your child of the comfort of home, making transitions smoother. Small sensory tools, like squishy toys or a favorite fidget spinner, can help ground them in moments of stress. Don’t forget snacks! Familiar foods can also help keep things stable when the holiday menu is full of new or overwhelming options.

4. Set Realistic Expectations

Holidays often come with high expectations—from yourself, your child, and others. Let go of the idea of a perfect celebration and focus on what’s realistic for your family. It’s okay to leave early, skip events, or say no to things that feel like too much. Be honest with family and friends about what your child can handle. If they’re willing to accommodate, great! If not, it’s okay to prioritize your family’s well-being over tradition.

5. Create a “Safe Signal”

We’ve started using a special signal—a hand squeeze, a whispered word, or even a specific gesture—that my toddler can use to tell me when they’re feeling overwhelmed. It gives them a way to communicate their needs without adding more stress, and it helps me respond quickly. This small strategy has helped us avoid so many meltdowns by addressing the overwhelm early. It also gives your child a sense of control, which is empowering in environments that might feel out of their control.

6. Prep Them Ahead of Time

One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that preparation goes a long way. Before a holiday event, we talk about what’s going to happen: who will be there, what they can expect, and what we’ll do if things feel like “too much.” We even role-play some scenarios so my toddler feels more prepared. It doesn’t eliminate all the challenges, but it helps reduce the unknowns.

You’re Not Alone

Here’s the most important thing: you’re not alone in this. I know it can feel that way, especially when everyone else seems to be breezing through the holidays while you’re just trying to survive. But there’s a whole community of parents like you and me who get it.

The holidays don’t have to look like a picture-perfect postcard to be meaningful. Sometimes, the best moments are the ones where you’re cuddled on the couch with your kid after leaving a party early, knowing you both did the best you could.

Take it one moment at a time, and know this: you’ve got this.

Have you been through similar challenges during the holidays? What has worked

for your family? Share your tips in the comments—I’d love to hear from you!