How to Set Boundaries as a Mom (Without Feeling Like a Monster)

Alright, mama, let’s talk about something that makes most of us squirm—boundaries. Yep, those things we know we should have but somehow end up tossing out the window the second someone (tiny or grown) needs us.

Because let’s be real—moms are expected to be everything to everyone at all times. Snack provider? Check. Therapist? Yep. Walking, talking calendar? Of course. Meanwhile, we’re running on fumes and caffeine, wondering why we’re one Lego-related injury away from losing our minds.

Here’s the deal: setting boundaries doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you a sane one. And if you feel like you’re drowning in everyone else’s needs, it’s time to throw out the guilt and start setting some limits that actually stick.

Why Moms Struggle with Boundaries (and Why That’s Gotta Change)

Moms are basically wired to put themselves last. We take on the world, then feel guilty for needing a break.

But guess what? Burnt-out moms don’t win awards. They just run on autopilot, snapping at their kids, resenting their partners, and feeling like a shell of the person they used to be. Sound familiar?

Here’s the truth: boundaries aren’t walls to shut people out—they’re guardrails that keep you from falling apart. When you set them, you’re not just protecting your sanity, you’re modeling self-respect for your kids. (Because, spoiler alert: they need to learn boundaries too!)

How to Set Boundaries (and Actually Stick to Them)

Okay, so how do you actually set boundaries without feeling like a monster? Let’s break it down:

1️⃣ Start Small & Be Clear

Boundaries don’t have to be some grand declaration. Start with one thing you need to reclaim your sanity.

🚫 Instead of: “I need more time for myself.”✅ Say: “I’m taking 30 minutes every morning for coffee and quiet time—no interruptions.”

2️⃣ The Compassionate No

Saying no doesn’t mean you’re rejecting people—it means you’re respecting your limits.

Try this instead of the usual guilt-ridden yes:

🔹 “I’d love to help, but I can’t commit to that right now.”

🔹 “That sounds fun, but I need to protect my time.”

🔹 “I appreciate you thinking of me, but that doesn’t work for me.”

3️⃣ Teach Your Kids That Boundaries Are Normal

Kids need to learn that mom is a person with needs too. And trust me, they’ll push back at first—but stick with it.

Examples:

• “Mommy is taking 10 minutes for herself. I’ll be with you after.”

• “I love playing with you, but I can’t right now. Let’s plan time for later.”

• “You can be upset, but I still need my space right now.”

  
  

Boundaries You NEED to Set (Like, Yesterday)

✅ With Your Kids – “Mom is not the snack machine.” (Set meal/snack times and stick to them.)

✅ With Your Partner – “I need time to recharge too.” (They should carry the mental load too.)

✅ With Family & Friends – “I don’t have to explain my parenting choices.” (No more guilt for doing what’s best for your family.)

✅ With Yourself – “I am not a martyr.” (You don’t need to suffer to prove you’re a good mom.)

Scripts for Setting Boundaries Without the Mom Guilt

Because sometimes we need a script in our back pocket when we’re about to cave…

🗣 “I can’t take that on right now, but I appreciate you thinking of me.” (For when you’re asked to do “just one more thing.”)

🗣 “I need a break, and that’s okay.” (For when you start convincing yourself you “should” be doing more.)

🗣 “I love you, but I need some quiet time.” (For when your kids or partner expect you to be “on” 24/7.”)

Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Respect (and Everyone Benefits)

Here’s what happens when you set boundaries:

✅ You’re less resentful → No more feeling like you’re being pulled in a million directions.

✅ Your kids learn healthy relationships → They see that respecting others’ space is normal.

✅ You actually enjoy parenting more → Because you’re not running on fumes.

Mama, you deserve to have space, time, and energy for yourself. Boundaries don’t make you a bad mom—they make you a better one.

So tell me—what’s one boundary you KNOW you need to set? Drop it in the comments! And if you need more tips on setting limits (without the guilt), sign up for my email list—I’ve got your back!