The ADHD Parent’s Guide to Surviving Transitions Without Losing Your Mind

Transitions. If you’re raising a neurodivergent kid, just reading that word might make you a little twitchy. I get it. I live it.

One moment, your child is blissfully hyper-focused on their latest Lego masterpiece, and the next, you casually mention it’s time to leave for school… and BOOM —a full-blown meltdown because they weren’t done yet!

Or bedtime. Ohhhh, bedtime. Just when you think you’re in the home stretch, suddenly your kid has 94 urgent thoughts, a deep existential crisis, and a sudden need to discuss every Pokémon evolution ever. Meanwhile, you’re sitting there, running on fumes, wondering how anyone in your house will ever sleep again.

Sound familiar?

If so, let me tell you two things:

1️⃣ You are not alone. Seriously, I’m right there with you.

2️⃣ Transitions are HARD for ADHD brains. Like, scientifically hard.

But here’s the good news: there are ways to make them easier (for your kid and for you). I’ve been digging into the research, testing strategies, and honestly, trial-and-erroring my way through it—so let’s talk about why transitions are so tough and what actually helps.

Why Are Transitions So Hard for ADHD Kids?

Ever heard the term “task switching”? It’s the brain’s ability to shift from one activity to another. In neurotypical kids, it’s like changing lanes on a quiet highway—pretty smooth.

For ADHD kids? It’s like trying to merge onto a 12-lane freeway… during rush hour… with no blinker… and everyone honking at them.

ADHD brains struggle with executive function (the part of the brain responsible for planning, organizing, and shifting focus). So when we say, “Time to go!” their brain panics because:

• They weren’t mentally prepared to stop what they were doing.

• Their brain is still deep in their current task.

• They have no clue what’s coming next.

  
  

To us, it’s a simple transition. To them, it’s a massive mental shift—one that feels overwhelming, frustrating, and, in some cases, impossible.

So how do we make it easier? Here’s what’s actually worked in my house.

1. The “Warning System” Trick

ADHD brains need time to switch gears. If you’ve ever said, “Time to go!” and gotten instant resistance, it’s because your kid didn’t get enough warning.

Try this instead:

✔ Use timers & countdowns. “In 10 minutes, we’re leaving for school.” Then follow up: “5 minutes left!” → “Okay, last minute!”✔ Give them a heads-up with what’s next. Instead of just saying, “It’s time to go,” say, “In five minutes, we’re putting on shoes, grabbing our bag, and heading out the door.”✔ Use visual timers. If your kid struggles with the concept of time (which, let’s be honest, most do), a timer with a visual countdown can make a huge difference.

🔹 Why it works: It gives their brain a chance to prepare, reducing the shock factor.

2. The “Power of Choice” Strategy

ADHD kids crave control. Honestly, same. So when we tell them what to do, their first instinct is often to push back (even if they were about to do it anyway).

Try this instead:

✔ Give small choices within the transition. → “Do you want to put your shoes on first or grab your bag first?”✔ Let them set a mini-goal. → “What’s one thing you want to do right after we get home?”✔ Offer a fun transition challenge. → “Let’s see who can get to the car first!”

🔹 Why it works: Giving them some control makes them feel like they have a say, reducing resistance.

3. The “One Thing at a Time” Method

Ever told your ADHD kid to “Get ready for bed” and then walked into the room 10 minutes later to find them half-dressed, playing with a sock, and talking to the cat? Yeah, me too.

Turns out, vague instructions don’t work well for ADHD brains.

Try this instead:

✔ Break it down into one step at a time. Instead of “Get ready for bed,” try:

1. “Put your pajamas on.” ✅

2. “Brush your teeth.” ✅

3. “Pick a book to read.” ✅

   
   

   ✔ Use a visual checklist. → A simple chart with pictures can be a game-changer.

🔹 Why it works: ADHD brains work best when given clear, simple, bite-sized tasks.

4. The “Silly & Unexpected” Hack

I know, I know. The last thing you want to do when you’re exhausted is turn bedtime into a comedy show. But hear me out—sometimes playfulness is the fastest way to compliance.

Try this instead:

✔ Use humor to break tension. → “Uh-oh! Your pajamas are running away! Better catch them!”✔ Turn transitions into a game. → “Let’s be ninjas and sneak to the bathroom without making a sound!”✔ Sing instructions like a ridiculous opera singer. → Yes, this is embarrassing. No, your kids won’t care.

🔹 Why it works: Laughter lowers resistance and gets them engaged in the transition rather than fighting it.

5. Give Yourself a Freaking Break

At the end of the day, no strategy works every time. There are still moments when I try all the tricks, and my kid still absolutely loses it over leaving the playground.

And you know what? That’s okay. Because I’m human. You’re human. Our kids are human.

Transitions are hard, but the fact that you’re even here, reading this, trying to help your child, means you’re already doing something amazing.

So the next time you’re caught in a transition battle, just remember: it’s not about getting it perfect. It’s about getting through it—together. 💚

What’s the hardest transition in your house? Drop it in the comments—I’d love to hear what works (or doesn’t work) for you!