Resilient Parenting + Self-Discovery for Moms: Finding Yourself While Raising Kids Who Need You

Hey, mama. Let’s get real for a second. When was the last time you did something just for you? Not for your kids, not for your partner, not because you felt like you should—but because it lit you up inside? If you have to think about it for more than a few seconds, you’re not alone.

Somewhere between wiping noses, attending IEP meetings, navigating meltdowns, and making sure everyone is alive at the end of the day, a whole lot of us forgot who we were before motherhood took over. And when you're raising a neurodivergent kid—one who needs extra patience, extra planning, extra everything—that feeling of losing yourself can hit even harder.

But here’s the deal: resilient parenting isn’t just about being strong for your child. It’s also about being strong for yourself. And that means rediscovering you while still being the amazing mom your kids need.

Why Your Growth Matters Just as Much as Your Kid’s

If you’re reading this, you probably already know that kids with ADHD, SPD, and ASD tend to pick up on everything. They feel that energy if you’re running on fumes, pushing through every single day with nothing left for yourself. And guess what? It affects them, too.

When we pour everything into our kids but leave ourselves empty, we show them that being a parent means sacrificing yourself completely. And that’s not the legacy we want to pass on, right?

Signs You Might Have Lost Yourself in Motherhood

Let’s check in real quick. Do any of these sound like you?

• You literally can’t remember what you used to do for fun before kids.

• Your entire mood depends on how your kid’s day went.

• You feel guilty doing things just for yourself, even though you know you need it.

• Your default answer is “I’m fine” when you’re really not.

• You struggle to answer the question: “Who am I outside of being a mom?”

  
  

If you’re nodding along, take a deep breath. You’re not broken and this isn't about shaming ourselves either. You’re not failing. You’re just a mom who’s been in survival mode for a long time, and it’s time to make a little space for you again.

Finding Yourself Again (Without Abandoning Your Kids in the Process)

1. Reconnect with What Brings You Joy (Even in Tiny Doses)

Okay, so you can’t exactly jet off to a yoga retreat in Bali (though wouldn’t that be nice?). But what can you do?

• Make a list of 5 things you used to love before kids. Painting? Reading? Running? Baking?

• Choose one and find a way to do it this week. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes. Even if it means hiding in your closet with a book and a piece of dark chocolate.

  
  

Small joy is still joy, mama.

2. Play Like Your Kids (But for YOU This Time)

When was the last time you did something completely unproductive just for fun? Dance in the kitchen, finger paint, blast your favorite 90s throwback playlist, doodle in a notebook. Kids play to process the world—what if we did, too?

3. Change the Way You Talk to Yourself

If your best friend called you tomorrow and said, “I just feel like I’m failing at everything. I don’t even know who I am anymore,” would you say, “Yeah, you probably are failing”? Of course not. So why do we talk to ourselves like that?

Try this instead:

• Instead of “I have no time for myself” → “I deserve time to recharge because I’m a better mom when I do.”

• Instead of “I shouldn’t need a break” → “Even the best moms need rest.”

• Instead of “I feel guilty for wanting more” → “My happiness matters, too.”

  
  

Setting Boundaries So You Can Actually Make This Happen

I know what you’re thinking: This all sounds great, but when am I supposed to fit this in? Listen, no one is handing us free time on a silver platter—we have to claim it.

• Start with a 10-minute “Mom Recharge Window”: Kids do a quiet activity while you do something just for you.

• Practice saying “No”: Every “yes” to something you don’t have energy for is a “no” to yourself. It’s okay to opt out.

• Find a support system: Whether it’s your best friend, a parenting group, or a bunch of moms who just get it (hey, that’s what my community is for!), surround yourself with people who remind you to take care of you, too.

  
  

You’re Not Just a Mom—You’re a Whole Person

At the end of the day, here’s the truth: Your kids need you, but they need the real you. The one who laughs, the one who has passions, the one who doesn’t feel like she’s drowning in the demands of motherhood.

So let’s start small. What’s one thing you can do this week just for you? Drop a comment or come find me on Instagram—I wanna hear all about it.

And hey, if you’re looking for a fun, creative way to reconnect with yourself, I’ve got just the thing: My Art Journaling Workshop is designed precisely for this—to give you a space to let go, create, and meet other awesome moms who are on the same journey. Wine (or coffee) is optional but encouraged. 😉 Click here to check it out! https://calmways.kit.com/products/art-journal-workshop-unleashing-your-inner-wild

You deserve this, mama. Let’s find you again. ❤️